By SobeGirl’s Erik

Welcome to SoBeWorld. If you are silent and still, can force your way through the ocean of perfect bodies, the unbroken, cantankerous river of exotic cars and limos, you will be rewarded with an unwarranted epiphany. The slow sweet burn of a meandering, vigilant sun, the subtle lure of the white-hot sands, tempered by the damp warmth of the manic, turquoise sea that forces you, like the natives, to shed your clothes, your hesitancies, and submit to the idolatry of wet and heat. The place is called South Beach Miami. A small strip of surf and sand only 15 blocks long and the place SobeGirl calls home.

If you stay long enough, for as little as an hour- you forget where you have come from- you lose track of your degrees, your work history, your corporate and familial obligations. You wonder when the tide will come in. You wonder how soon the ice in your drink will melt. You wonder if she saw you look when she tore her top off. You smell nothing but coconut suntan oil, singed, scented skin, and the lapping, echoing ocean. Seagulls cackle, the ocean hums, and your heart thumps you a lullaby while you take it all in.

This is pre-corporate, pre-urban, unmitigated, non-chemical ecstasy. Your nirvana is free yet priceless- and it's only been an hour. Welcome to South Beach, Florida. There is a brash, violent beauty here- raw, unfiltered, and incessant. South Beach boasts the kind of pre-colonial wildness that is incomparable in the Anglo world. Eat dinner in your bikini. Start to make love on a park bench to the giggles (not scorn) of miniature Cuban grandmas. Take a whiff of the marijuana in the air. See model shoots on street corners. Get lucky and catch a glimpse of her changing right there on the sidewalk. Bring an African drum to an outdoor mall and watch potbellied cops show off their Samba moves.

You "unlearn" your "just say no" skills. You become familiar drinking partners with a few low-lifes called Excess, Up-All-Night, and Easy-lay. You begin to believe that a white limo is another kind of family Suburban and Ferraris are used to pick up the milk. Stay here long enough and you eventually begin to believe that sun, sand and surf are far more interesting than sex, drugs and rock and roll. You are seduced by the landscape, but thankfully not abandoned.

South Beach will not let you go- when you have become engorged and repelled by the sleaze factor, reanimated and obsessed by the untainted beauty of the local "senoritas" and the endless, sun-swept beach that they parade upon, you will be drawn back to the basics. You want to lie half-naked and let yourself be baked senseless by the sun, get achingly aroused watching scantily clad beauty after topless beauty prance, wink, and sashay in front of you, as you drink your vodka tainted mango juice. Forget America, this is another, unparalleled place, almost a different world.

And yet, like every other fantasy, reality encroaches. Nothing this splendid can last forever, so bohemian and unscathed by pop culture. This is, after all, ONLY a beach. A strip of land composed primarily of sand, surf shops, and strip clubs. OJ Simpson lives here, so does Ricky Martin. Maybe it’s that strangely familiar scent in the air.

Head out to the world famous Ocean Drive and watch the spectacle of models shopping for 500-dollar dresses. A second plan is the outdoor mall at Lincoln Road. Here you will see more gorgeous men per square block than anywhere in the world. At the moment you realize that most of these guys are gay it occurs to you that this is not your normal place. Gorgeous girls everywhere, tons of gay men – "what is going on?" you ask yourself. If you are straight like me you will not know how to react when they start hitting on you. After a while, if you stay long enough you will take it as a compliment and learn that the gorgeous girls love gay guys. Be civil with the gays and the girls will be very curious about you.

When all else fails - the glorious thing about South Beach is the most obvious. It's a beach. All those buxom babes out there in their itsy-bitsies are accessible, even somewhat friendly. Everyone comes here for one thing – to have a good time. It's not considered rude to say "ola-oh la la la" to a chick sunning herself under your nose - it's expected, if not necessarily totally welcome. Suck in your gut, put on some shades, and hey- if you strike out there's another 7 miles of women just waiting for someone like you to come along. Sobe bold, don’t hold back. Wet your whistle and dive in.....